Wednesday, January 14, 2009

She's finally down. Hold on a minute, let me take a deep breath. I swear my sweet angel baby girl drives me nuts sometimes. She is so inconsistent with her sleep patterns. As soon as we get into a routine she changes it. I think she thinks it's hilarious.

She was on the boob from about 2 hours until she went to bed at 10pm. I think she may be going through a growth spurt. I hope bedtime will get easier as we introduce solids next month. When I'm feeding her at night I feel like I am being held down and can't move. I love her, obviously, but having to sit down for that long drives me nuts. I feel a slight panic attack coming on sometimes.

On the other hand, I am not ready to have her on cereal. I mean I can't wait to see her with the food all over her face. And all the weird little expressions she will make when she's trying new things out. But it's a huge step into not being my infant anymore. And I'm just not comfortable enough with that. Before I know it, she will be leaving for college and never looking back.

I guess for now I will soak in as much of her as possible and be severely thankful to have her in my life. And that I get to see her grow into a smart, strong and self knowing woman.

Just thinking about her makes me want to pick her up out of bed and snuggle her. I must be nuts to put myself through trying to get her back to sleep again tonight!